Never Put the Candy in Front of the Baby! #relationship #relationships #marriage

If you are a woman, and you are in a relationship with a man, it is important to the survival of your relationship to know that when your man looks at a “sexualized” woman, he cannot make sound decisions. Why not? Studies show that when a man views “sexualized” women, the part of his brain associated with logic and reasoning shuts down. MRIs measured brain activity in men and women when viewing “sexualized men and women baring their skins.” The Neuroscience of Life study finds that: “the brain regions that normally become active when one engages in a social interaction with another individual that they recognize is a human being, were active in men when they viewed clothed women, but not active when viewing sexualized women.” In this context, “sexualized” means naked.

How does this affect our relationships on a day-to-day basis? Do what you can to minimize the opportunities your man has to see “sexualized” women! Period. For example:

  1. Do not have young, attractive teenagers or women babysit your children when you are not physically present. Do not allow your husband to take the babysitter home.
  2. Do not allow an attractive woman to come into your home to clean your house. When I was growing up, we had a maid come in to clean every Monday. My mother had to work during the day, and my father worked at night, so he was at home during the day when the maid was cleaning the house. However, my mother found the biggest, most unattractive woman she could find to clean our house!
  3. Trust but verify. Every now and then, discretely check his emails and cell phone. See who he is friends with on social media. See who he follows on social media and who is following him. You don’t need to confront him on every thing you see. Just make a mental note, and keep it in the back of your mind. For example, my husband has a LinkedIn profile, and I noticed a young woman named Alison responded to him telling her Happy Birthday. I don’t have my husband’s password for his LinkedIn account, but he has “notifications” turned on, so the notifications pop up on his computer and cell phone. So, if I happen to be near his computer or cell phone, I see the notifications. Telling a former co-worker Happy Birthday is not grounds for divorce, but I made a mental note, did a little research on Alison, and will file it away in the back of my mind. If I notice he is continuing to communicate with her on a regular basis, I might ask why he is still communicating with a former female co-worker.
  4. Do a drive-by. A drive-by is when you unexpectedly show up at the same location as your husband. It is especially important to show up at your husband’s job every now and then. It lets his female co-workers know that you are unpredictable, and may show up at any time. Many years ago, I went to my husband’s job after a night of arguing. I don’t remember what the argument was about, but I noticed my husband always mentioned the office secretary’s name … Brownie did this and Brownie said that … Men are very transparent. They don’t hide things very well. If a woman is on their mind, they will mention her in what they think is an “innocent” comment. If your husband comes home from work, and he keeps mentioning a particular woman, it doesn’t matter if he is talking about her in a negative or positive manner. She is on his mind, and he cannot help but speak about her. Back to Brownie … I went to my husband’s office that morning, and I made a point to walk by Brownie’s office a couple of times. How did I know where Brownie’s office was? I just looked at the names on the door, and her door happened to be open. I saw her and she she saw me. When I went to my husband’s office, I didn’t make a scene. I just said hello, asked how he was doing. I sat down, took interest in what he was working on. I did not argue with him. I smiled and acted like every thing was fine. I stayed for about 10 minutes so his other co-workers would see me, and then left. My goal was to let him know, and let the women know that I may show up at anytime.

As women, we need to understand that men have certain weaknesses that are biological. A man’s ability to make good decisions is severely impaired when he is looking at a “sexualized” woman. Hence, never put the candy, or “sexualized” woman in front of the man. Men are very visual beings. If they see it, they want it.


The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the Author/WebMaster. Before taking any action, please consult your real estate, financial, and legal advisors.

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